The Joey Wrecked Diet

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me how I stay so fit at my advanced age of 62, I’d have almost enough nickels to get on the subway. So, for the first time ever, I am revealing the Joey Wrecked diet. It’s really not a diet, but rather, a series of rules and contradictions that happen to work for me. I warn you, I’m not qualified to dispense nutrition advice, so this is just me, sharing what I do.

Rule #1. I don’t take nutrition advice from ANYBODY unless I see them without a shirt on.

That’s right. If I like what I see, I ask, “How do you do it?” Never have the answers had anything to do with cleanses, pasta, bread, fruit, intermittent fasting, high-protein, low-carb, Atkins, keto, carnivore, Weight Watchers, etc., etc. Therefore, I don’t waste time with such foolishness. Rule #1….show me, don’t tell me.

In the early 90s, I found myself overweight, weak, and kind of bummed out. I asked myself, what do I want to look like?  I appreciated the strength and endurance of triathletes so I jumped into triathlon training. Full disclosure, I lived on South Beach and drank lots and lots of alcohol almost every night (before you get all judgy, these were also some fun-ass years I wouldn’t trade in for anything). Partying notwithstanding, the fat melted off. Two years into it, my body fat dropped from 26% to14%. A year after that, now competing regularly, I was down to11%. I ate everything in sight and drank lots of alcohol, but yet remained strong, sharp and thin. Then, I hurt my lower back real bad (for the sake of full honesty, I was drunk when it happened). Just like that, triathlon was no longer an option.

Rule #2. Take care of the important stuff first.

If my heart, lungs, back, etc. are not healthy, looking good is not gonna be the primary concern. That doesn’t mean give up, but rather, adjust the focus. For me, it was how to get my back to not hurt all the time. Rule #2 is a biggie, because we all have, or will have, some kind of limiting health issue. Figure it out and move on.

Rule #3. Fruit in the morning, and simple, chemical-free, low added-sugar food the rest of the time.

On to what I stuff into my big mouth. After I hurt my back, I knew I’d have to watch what I ate (and yeah, you knew this was coming, my alcohol consumption would have to decline steeply). The one diet book that made sense to me was “Fit for Life” by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond. To this day, I kinda sorta follow its principles by eating nothing but fruit in the morning, and the rest of the day and night, as much as I want of  one “dead” food, and as much as I want of “live” foods. According to the Diamonds, a dead food is anything that must be cooked (think pasta, meat, potato, legumes, etc.) and live foods are salads and veggies. It’s all about pooping regularly and thoroughly. Simple and effective, the diet absolutely works for me. Furthermore, I  have discovered through experience that sugar causes havoc to my body and brain, and those stupid, ridiculous artificial sugar drinks are even worse. Who voluntarily drinks a chemistry set? Not me.

Rule #4. Make the time for exercise.

The last piece of the Joey Wrecked method is exercise. Through trial and error, I discovered that boxing doesn’t cause me pain. Seems like a contradiction, right? Nevertheless, true. Boxers are thin and strong and don’t have that steroid, muscle-bound look I want to avoid (rule #1 again). I wake up every morning and do a yoga-like stretch routine for 30 minutes to keep my back healthy, and right after work, box for 75 minutes. If I can’t make it to the boxing gym, I’ll run or bike for an hour and do my sit-ups and pushups.  I shoot for an hour and forty-five minutes per day (including the morning stretch), seven days a week. If I fall a little short, that’s okay. It’s a fine line between obsession and dedication. As long as I’m having fun, I know which side I fall in.

That’s it. The Joey Wrecked way is to stop listening to all the advice that everyone convinces themselves is effective, only to be disappointed again and again. Keep it simple, excuse-free and fun…. like Joey Wrecked! I wonder now, how much does the subway cost these days?

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Joey Maya

Joey Maya is the author of The Drummer of Miami Beach: The Story of Joey Wrecked.