When I was 20, I watched Billy Graham pack out Cleveland Municipal Stadium. Souls were saved. Literal storm clouds parted: even the Channel 8 weather guy admitted, Doppler in hand, that a miracle had taken place over Northeast Ohio.
So yes, I’ve seen revival. I’ve seen spectacle. I’ve seen someone take a 90,000 seat stadium and make it feel intimate.
Theo Von did not do that in Miami on Saturday night.
My 17-year-old daughter Julia got me into his podcast This Past Weekend a few years ago, and I’ve been a fan ever since. Theo’s delivery is warm and unexpectedly smooth even when it covers nonsense. He brings on everyone from A-listers like Trump, Bernie Sanders and Ben Affleck to everyday characters like garbage men, lunch ladies, and police officers. The guy has charm, empathy, and a gift for making the oddly specific seem universally hilarious.
He’s not Larry the Cable Guy 2.0. Larry played a character. Theo is a walking, talking anthropological specimen: he’s what happens when you mix Beavis, Butthead, and Boomhauer, then send the baby to college for Urban Planning.
So when I saw he was coming to Miami, I snagged two tickets. $75 a pop. Julia was thrilled.
Theo’s true power is in eye contact. His podcast works because he’s right there with you, speaking directly into the camera with all his vulnerability and weirdness. But in an arena? That intimacy gets swallowed whole by the space.
Normally after a good comedy show (Kevin Hart, Daniel Tosh, Kevin James), I’m quoting bits for days to anyone who will listen. With Theo? I barely remembered anything by the time we hit Biscayne.
Theo Von wore Yeezys,
an odd choice in light of Kanye West’s very recent “Heil Hitler” rap release. Von made a limp attempt at a joke about walking a mile in someone else’s “joos.”
Bright spot? Amir K (Amir Kamyab), Theo’s opener. Born in Iran, raised in L.A., he absolutely crushed it. If you get the chance to catch him at the Dania Improv in August, do it. Also, the animated opening sequence featuring Theo’s podcast guests was a highlight.
As for the audience – it was a weird demographic. I was one of the oldest guys there. Julia was probably one of the youngest girls. In between? Hordes of 15-year-old boys with broccoli haircuts all hopped up on Andrew Tate and overpriced merch.
I would describe Theo’s politics as BroCon: conservative with a side of self-deprecation, and just enough open mindedness to keep things interesting.
I’m a conservative myself, but I appreciate his willingness to host conversations with people across the spectrum. He’s not a partisan hammer. Theo Von in an arena is like an AA meeting at a Costco: too big, too loud, too many moving parts. Von needs a tighter room – something like the Hard Rock up the road with a 6,500-person capacity. There, the storytelling could breathe. The crowd could feel seen. Instead, we got a lukewarm arena set from a guy who’s usually on fire in front of a camera.
Toward the end, Theo got reflective. He spoke about recovery, spirituality, and hinted at an even higher calling. His brother is a pastor. And honestly? I could see Theo preaching one day. He has the storytelling chops, the voice, and the redemption arc. If he ever goes full Billy Graham, I’ll be there, weather permitting.
