You hear the news? Damian Lillard said he want to come to the best team in the world, The Miami Heat.
Damian Lillard can shoot the ball. Dawg scored 71 points in February. He finna fit in real good with Bam, Butler, and Duncan.
But Lillard’s team The Portland Trailblazers cockblocking the whole thing. They saying, “No Dame you can’t be balling with the Miami Heat unless we get some good players back.” They acting like they never learned slavery ended back on the 4th of July in 1976.
If I was Pat Riley I’d be like you want something back for Dame, you can have my socks when I take them off tonight. I’ll even autograph them for you.
But Pat Riley is too much of a gentleman. He gonna give them Blazers some players and here are some trade ideas on how the Heat can get Damian Lillard.
Kyle Lowry and a bag of pastelitos for Damian Lillard
I know everyone be like, yo that ain’t fair, Damian Lillard is an all-star that averaged 32 points a game last year and Lowry is washed.
Bro, don’t be disrespectful.
Pastelitos are delicious.
Tyler Herro, Duncan Robinson, and Kevin Love for Dame
I ain’t never been, but I hear Portland got a lot of White people. Here’s a chance to give them three more.
Nikola Jovic straight up for Lillard
Riles gotta be smooth for this one. Riles gotta keep acting like its Nikola Jokic he be trading, then boom as soon we get Lillard, we can all laugh at them suckers. Hahaha that a “v” not a “k” in that name fools.
Kyle Lowry and Tyler Herro for Dame Time
This offer is too good for them Blazers. Lillard don’t want to play for them no more, but I hear Heat have to give them some players or a trade won’t be allowed which is BS. I love Lowry and Herro. Lowry made some huge shots for the Heat. With Herro it even more personal. Sometimes when I spark up a fat blunt I think I am Tyler Herro. But you gotta give to get. But then again Lowry and Herro are both Heat legends. I think the Portland Trailblazers shouldn’t be so stingy so how about…
Kyle Lowry and Tyler Herro for Damian Lillard and a big fat bag of Oregon shrooms
Deal done. Pleasure doing business with you.