Florida Recount Makes Us Look Stupid Again

Oh, boy. Here we are again. Another Florida recount.

In November of 2000, Florida held the entire attention of the world because of a political recount. The whole world, for six weeks, did not know who would be the next president of the free world: Al Gore or W Bush. We know what happened. W won by 537 votes. 

Florida Recount Is Embarrassing

It’s happening again. But this time, the stakes are 1000% less grandiose and the results will still be the same. The Republican candidates that barely won, will win again. Sorry to throw vinegar on all of our liberal colleagues and friends — we love you — we do — but this Florida recount is a complete waste of time. It’s a waste of time, space, energy and emotion. Nothing will change. Scott and DeSantis will wind up winning. And you are delusional to think otherwise.

Sorry. Seriously. But all this is doing is making our state look more divided and silly (as usual) to the rest of the world. Of course it is Florida  law that a recount must be conducted if an election is less than .05 percent — which this one was. But nothing is going to change. It’s false hope. It’s whatever. Let’s move on. The prolonged division only leads to more division, negativity and who knows. Potential violence. Sorry, Florida. We were not blue this time around.

If anything, like usual, whether your guy or girl won or lost, just remember, every vote does indeed count, a Florida vote IS 100% the most important vote in the country, and fuck everyone that didn’t vote. Now, let’s move on. The sky is blue. The sun is out. 

We’re fine.

This Florida recount is stupid. They are laughing at us in New York. They are laughing at us in Washington, D.C. Let’s stop giving them reasons to laugh at us. We’re not that funny. Florida is not that weird.

This article was filed by J.J. Colagrande, author of Reduce Heat Continue to Boil and Deco 2.0.

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J.J. Colagrande

Has written about Miami culture for almost twenty years, first with The Miami Herald, then Miami New Times and Huffington Post. He's the publisher of The Jitney and a full-time professor.