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Go to Sleep Art Basel, Bye-Bye

Art Basel is really weird. Art Basel is not Art Basel.

It is technically the world’s largest art exposition held at the Miami Beach convention center. It launched in Miami in 2002. The actual Art Basel is a gathering of the most prominent art galleries from all around the world. It attracts tens of thousands of collectors, gallerists, artists, hangars on, reprobates, freaks, entitled New Yorkers, slimy Europeans, and lovers of art in general, whatever that means. That’s Art Basel. And it’s $60 this year.

Art Basel Is A Myth

Art Basel is just a small component and maybe the worst and most boring part of Art Basel. It really is this HUGE radio wave of satellite Art Fairs and pop-up events and Wynwood events and street art happening live in Wynwood and parties in Wynwood and on the beach.

Collectively, it all adds up to probably the most progressive event in the U.S. and arguably the world. It’s definitely cool, but it also definitely gets overwhelming to a point where most locals just want our city and roads back so we rally and cry: Go The F*ck To Sleep Art Basel.

When we can’t drive to the beach because the causeway’s backed up we rally and cry: Go The F*ck To Sleep Art Basel.

When Miley Cirus comes to Miami and Dons Disco Ball Nipple Pasties After Art Basel Miami Concert it’s time to rally and say: Go The F*ck To Sleep Art Basel. When Usher comes to Art Basel and Charges His Phone Inside a Woman’s Vagina it’s time to rally and say: Go The F*ck To Sleep Art Basel.

Yeah, those were headlines in previous years. 

Snobby New Yorkers are a Trope

Here’s the thing. We love Art Basel, we do. But at the end of the day, the parties are basically just a bunch of people standing around and drinking, mostly too cool to dance, and this is looking at the free scotch as being half-empty, but you’ll see people looking at each other, like, is he famous?

Who is this guy? Who is he connected to? Oh. He’s with Shepherd Fairey. Oh, he’s so hot right now. And when sh*t turns into that it’s just time to say: Go The F*ck To Sleep Art Basel.

At the end of the day, this is our city, not yours.

So enjoy the bacchanal, it’s good times.

We’re with you one-hundred percent!

Enjoy Miami, it’s beautiful. But understand, it’s not yours, it’s ours.

And most of us down here are already like: Go The F*ck To Sleep Art Basel…

Still, we’ll see you out there tomorrow…

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