Hurricane Dorian Gray Checklist

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Hurricane Dorian checklist time.

Most residents scurried from the supermarket to the Home Depot to the hardware store, programmed to find the necessities for their checklist. Remember Andrew in ‘92’ and the ‘05’ orgy of a Hurricane season that produced a three-some between Dennis, Katrina and Wilma.

Power outages seemed inevitable. Cell phone towers could fall. There’d be no internet or Wi-Fi. The food could go bad.  Lines at gas stations were around the block with the very real possibility of the area running out of fuel. People filled their cars and whatever containers. ATMs ran out of money. Whole aisles of supermarkets laid barren, stripped of water by the truckloads, and canned food. It became impossible to find a flashlight. Batteries suddenly seemed more valuable than gold. Families panicked.

Hurricane Dorian Checklist

Are all the bases covered? What about the first aid kit? Is it adequately stocked with sterile gloves and dressings, antibiotic towels and ointments, bandages, aspirins and other non-prescription drugs? What about prescription drugs? Is everybody covered? What about scissors? Scissors? Do you have scissors? Tweezers? Eye wash? Check. Can opener? Check. Wrench to turn off utilities? Check. Whistle? Wait, a whistle? Yes, do we have a whistle? Are we refereeing a game? No sarcasm, McDougal. Sorry, hun.

Antibiotics, check. Fire extinguisher, check. Pet food, check. Sleeping bags, check. Are the insurance documents in order, flood insurance? Check. Electric generator? Maybe next year, hun. What? But the Jackson’s next door have one? Well, the Jackson’s next door don’t have a seven year-old girl and a two year-old boy, now do they?

Speaking of which, do we have enough baby formula? Check. What about games to keep them busy? Board games, coloring books, crayons, playing cards? Check, check, check. We need bleach and a medicine dropper in case we have to dilute our water. Great idea, McDougal. We need to do our laundry as well. Again, great idea. And you need to border up the windows! Plywood, check. Hammer and nails, check. Drill, even better. Duct tape? Of course we have duct tape. Everyone has duct tape.  Matches and candles, check. Paper supplies, plates, cups, utensils? They were all out at the supermarket and pharmacy. Damn it, McDougal! Prepare for the worst.

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Hurricane Dorian checklist time.

J.J. Colagrande

J.J. Colagrande has written about Miami culture for fifteen years, first with The Miami Herald, then Miami New Times and Huffington Post.