Kevin Love Is a Sleeper Agent Sent to Sabotage Miami Heat

Bro, while everyone in Miami was banging pots and pans like “yo we got Kevin Love, the greatest player in the world,” I gots to be the guy who ruins the party.

Just like with the coronavirus, when something is too good to be true, you got to look around the table and see who the sucker is. You got to do your research and say why they going to give me them drugs for free?

Kevin Love used to be a good player like when I was a kid. He led the NBA in rebounds and won a three point shootout. Since the Miami Heat this year are smaller than my stash after my homie, Javi, comes over, and couldn’t hit a three pointer, it sounds like the perfect fit.

But do your research.

How the Miami Heat getting a player who everyone says is so good for nothing?

He coming from the Cleveland Cavaliers. That team is buying Kevin Love out. They paying him millions of dollars not to play for them.

Yo, out in the real world does anyone ever pay you not to work? Money always costs something.

So let me educate you on Kevin Love.

The Cleveland Cavs and Miami Heat are fighting for playoff position. On January 31, Miami came in to Cleveland and spanked them Cavs. The Cav’s evil genius owner Dan Gilbert looked around and said, “Them Heat going to be a problem. How we going to fix them?” Then he saw Kevin Love standing around all sloppy looking and said, “Hey KLove, how you like to make some extra money playing some real bad basketball?”

The Miami Heat fell right into their trap, picked up Kevin Love for nothing and have now lost two games in a row.

My boy Javi be trippin like I’m paranoid. He say I’m smoking too much weed and I should give it all to him. But then he watched Kevin Love’s first game and he didn’t score a single point and he be like, “Yo you speaking truth”.

And now you all know too.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Jitney on Patreon! The Jitney needs gas. Please donate or become a Patron here
Become a patron at Patreon!

Arturo Gaudi

Arturo Gaudi eats, sleeps and drinks all things Miami Heat.