Welcome to Mary May I, the Jitney’s newest column where Mary C. Smith dispenses all types of wisdom. If you have a question for Mary that needs answering you can ask her at OMGhelpisHere@gmail.com.
Can someone really die from a broken heart? — Grieving in Golden Beach
The clinical answer is yes, Broken Heart Syndrome is a thing. Rarely fatal. Also worth noting, the risk of coronary failure or stroke doubles in the first month of bereavement. My parents died three months apart and I would have sworn that a broken heart was involved. I’m still not convinced it wasn’t. From my personal experience, obvi I didn’t die, I just wished I was dead, felt dead inside. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but in the meantime it makes you mad, sad, sometimes a little unstable and unable to focus and think clearly.
If the grief is from a romantic breakup. Bless it and move on. The universe has something better in store for you. If the grief is due to the loss of a beloved partner, pet or parent, etc., it gets tricky. The grim reality of them never coming back will sting. Every day. It totally blows (I have some tips for taking the bite out of grief should you need them).
Then one day you wake up and that loss isn’t the very first thing you think of as soon as you open your eyes. These days suck and will be a blur. Very important to maintain your own self care during this time. Soon after, your thoughts will be about the gains, fun memories and what they brought to your life. Eventually that grief shifts into gratitude for the time that you had together. Then you start to feel that love that you shared and some ice melts from around your heart.
Soon you will be able to conjure that delicious feeling at will. They are right beside you, they are inside you, the piece you feel missing will heal. Be patient with yourself and know that you made a beautiful life and a beautiful love for this person. Only you two share it. Isn’t it great to feel that? We wouldn’t know the heights of love without the depth of loss.
Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
Love at first sight? Yup. It happens. There is definitely an energy that will attract two people to each other. BUT, It’s all about the maintenance baby. Don’t come at me with anything you can’t be consistent with. I am more interested in love at the 5th, 50th or 500th sight!