The Pandemic Is a Trauma for Us All

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Oh the times they are a changing. Are they though?  Every human has had a curveball thrown at them in the last two years.  I wonder if there is anywhere on the planet that Covid has not seeped into.  New Zealand knows some kind of secret.  

Underlying conditions is what takes people down, quickly.  Chronic sickness. I learned more about my friends and families ailments than I cared to know, it’s a lot.  People are a lot. Guess what, we are all the drama at some point.  I want chronic wellness to be a thing. Where we focus on all the great things about ourselves and our bodies.

I think that people are scared, angry, insecure.  I was all three of those things before 10:00 a.m. today.  So many thoughts. We have been left alone with our thoughts more than ever in these past two years. Cue the negative self talk and overthinking. Our culture is becoming more fear based every day.

The red flag is trending and so many people are quick to tell you what they consider a warning.  Ten ways to know he’s a narcissist.  The one thing I bet she is doing wrong.  Five things to look out for during your first day on the job.  We are being trained to look for red flags, I think that sometimes we are missing the green lights because we are searching and focusing so hard on the “flaws” or the negatives of a situation.  

I don’t think anyone got through the pandemic without some sort of trauma.

We all have moments of crisis that triggers out fight or flight.  It’s a survival tactic. A mechanism set in our DNA to protect us and keep us safe. I’m tired of playing it safe.  Your fears are not the enemy, avoiding them is.  You gotta lean in to them and find the lesson.

Not all of us are ready to feel it and heal it.  In my experience If you push past it and ignore it, it comes back as something else.  The same message just keeps coming at you in different forms until you hear it and take inspired action to do better for yourself. To choose you. So honor that feeling. Take it apart and dissect it as much as you can.  

I was stuck, emotionally, physically and financially.  I have traded one addiction for another my entire life. I had and still have certain behaviors that are almost inexplicable.  I have gotten the reckless ones under control for the most part.  I find myself saying, “what the hell Mary?  What are you obsessing about now?”  I am working really hard to just obsess about myself, to be addicted to my well being. To be more aware of what direction my thoughts are taking me. To give myself a chance. 

Putting myself first has been a lifelong challenge. 

I am so grateful for the last 17 months, I found a level of life and a version of myself that I actually like, and I am just getting started. This may not be a popular experience or opinion of many during the pandemic.  That’s OK, this is my experience.  I am in control of it, or at least my perception of it. I am living on my own terms for the first time and will inevitably make some mistakes along the way. All I can say is that you have to let it go.  Being mad at yourself or at someone else is just a waste of energy. Stop beating yourself up. If you approach life with more compassion, awareness and understanding (mostly for yourself) you will be a much happier person.  It has worked for me.  I’m on the chronic wellness vibe now and things are just better, lighter, with more green lights than red flags. 

So don’t wait, and you don’t have to learn the hard way, I am giving you this information now and want you to process it. Let me save you some time.

Live your life, forgive, learn and keep going. If that’s too big of a step, take a smaller step. Some people see the red flags in others and deep dive thinking they can fix them.  Nope.  Not your job. You only do that because something inside of you feels broken.  Look within. Get quiet.  Let your brain rest.  Don’t put your health second to anything.  Reset as often as you need to. That thing you want to do, find a way to do it.  Stop talking yourself out of it. It’s never too late. Keep going.  Don’t waste time in anger and misery.  What you aren’t changing, you are choosing. You are meant for more, don’t settle. Get busy. Get moving.

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Mary C. Smith

Smart, funny, honest, practical and sometimes in-your-face advice on relationships, being single, finance, self care and life in the city. Catch her in action at IG @ohmygirlmedia