My wife travels regularly for business. She’s been to Africa, Asia, South America and Europe more times than I’ve visited the gym. She loves exploring the world, and it’s generally on someone else’s dime. My desire for world travel has been largely satisfied by many outstanding YouTube documentaries, watched in the air-conditioned comfort of my living room, in UHD 4K.
For reasons unknown, my beautiful Balkan bride tasked me with booking our annual summer trip to Albania, where she is from, and where we had a family wedding to attend.
Ever since I met my wife, I’ve been enamored with all things Albanian (except for learning the actual language). I’m so into Albania that my children accuse me of cultural appropriation. My rebuttal? “Culture is ALWAYS appropriate.”
Our usual route to the former communist nation is Miami to Rome, via Alitalia Airlines. I think they’re called ITA Airways now. However, even three months out, that route was fully booked.
Enter Norse Atlantic Airways. Hey – if the Norwegians can be trusted to run a cruise line, surely they can offer a safe and enjoyable flying experience?
Norse Atlantic flies directly from Miami to London’s Gatwick Airport. No problem. We’ll just take Ryanair to Albania (Ryanair is the Spirit Airlines of Europe). Oh, Ryanair only flies to Albania via London’s Stansted airport? Never heard of it. But I’m an American recluse. There’s tons of shit I’ve never heard of. Now that we’re stateside, I’d like to offer some reflections on my travels with these alternative airlines and budget air travel in Europe.
Norse Atlantic
The flight was comfortable enough, and the plane was a very new Boeing 787 with huge windows and… NO Wi-Fi! I repeat – no Wi-Fi, not even as a $39.99 add on. Yet, Wi-Fi works just fine when you make a $5 purchase for cheap headphones to watch movies.
The main included meal was “serviceable,” as a home inspector might describe a 23 year old electrical panel. However, the $20 “bonus meal” was an absolute disgrace to aviation culinary. The flight attendants both times acted super inconvenienced to bring our family the $100 worth of oniony cheesy Hot Pocket knock-offs that my delicate body is still trying to make sense of.
Most of the flight attendants on Norse were super kind and friendly, but one treated me like I was a MAGA hat at a Greenpeace rally lost and found.
Ryanair
Based on YouTube videos and news articles from over the years, my expectations were low for Ryanair, so perhaps this reverse confirmation bias worked in their favor.
Ryan’s business model is to fly, almost exclusively, the Boeing 737. It reduces redundancy for parts, training, etc. There is a certain charm that comes with the beat up interiors, knowing and trusting that at least the key components must pass inspections. They’ve surely got an FAA in Europe?
The flight attendants were all very chill – reminiscent of Southwest Airlines in the 1990s. Jokes and smiles came easy to the Ryanair flight crew. They seem to know who they are and have embraced the same renegade personality as their beat up (cosmetically) aircraft (and their somewhat wacky CEO).
The Spirit of Europe?
I must disclose that I fly Spirit a lot domestically, so my tolerance for no-frills air travel is high. Spirit generally has the best prices, and most importantly, the best schedules to Cleveland.
I’ve never seen a fist-fight or even a shouting match on one of their planes, counters or gates, nor have I ever encountered the kind of rudeness they are sometimes called out for. One time former Cleveland Cavaliers coach Mike Fratello was seated right behind me when the pilot suddenly aborted takeoff after a bird strike. Other than that, nothing bad or amazing to report on Spirit.
Norse Atlantic is not on my short list for next time, but my wife assures me there won’t be a next time. I am no longer permitted to book trips, which is fine with me.
Did we save money by doing Norse-Ryanair? Yes. The Holiday Inn near Gatwick was around $200, the Ubers back and forth betwixt Stansted and Gatwick were around $400 total. Despite this, we saved around $2000 by NOT flying British Airways or a similar “leading brand” carrier. $2000 could buy me some real Hot Pockets, and a really big TV, with YouTube built right in!
PS. I’ll write about Albania itself later, as well as some tidbits about our brief time in Kosovo. Until then, I’m grateful that we live near a major international airport. Imagine adding a connection in Newark to all of this!
BONUS FEATURE!
On my Ryanair flights, the plane’s safety card is just a big sticker on the seat in front of you. There’s no words, so I had to deduce the meaning of some of the more confusing drawings.
