Someone Please Take Away These Girl Scout Cookies!


Our bodies, despite our best efforts are persistent in their search for wellness. Our bodies aren’t meant to be sick, and we the people, (of said bodies) may be too quick to be ok  with the sickness.

Just me?

Ok.  Personally, I just accepted it, without a fight.  I’m fighting now. What do we all have to do? Focus on our health, and encourage others to as well. You only need to be a certified human being to encourage, out of love, for others to live healthier. To move and eat healthier.  This message is something I want to shove down my own throat.  Is this what irony feels like?

I know that I never ate an optimal diet.  Nutrition was for other kids.  Other families that had ample time for meal planning. In a house of 16 people and a cat, we get what we get and we don’t get upset.  This is where my abusive relationship with food was formed. I was (am) the abuser. May I introduce the first of many addictions that I came to know? The Catholics call it gluttony.

I had to figure out why I was so compulsive around food. I felt like I had to eat it now because in five seconds someone else would take it and then it would be gone! Why did I feel shame for eating it?  Binging is real. If this is getting weird for you,  stop reading here.  I am going to start breaking down where our least favorite things about ourselves were created. I had to get to the bottom of this mystery before I could even begin to understand how to manage food. I can tell you that at 52 I still haven’t put the lid on that jar.  Food has been managing me forever.  I’m tired of it.  Literally.  Fatigue and brain fog are drastically improved or eliminated  with diet changes. 

As kids, we ate in shifts, youngest first, then oldest but only after we were finished. Please make a note of the image that just popped into your head.  The scariest words were whispered in my ear by the brother waiting for my seat.  Through  clenched teeth and flared nostrils he would say “EAT….YOUR….PEAS.”  That clean plate club garbage can set off a lifetime of food management issues.

Mom and Dad caught bites of onion sandwiches in between the chaos.  They loved the sandwiches, they loved each other and they loved us.

Gullible me, I believed until just recently, that my Dad’s favorite cookies were the burned ones..  He didn’t want me to feel bad (Catholics call it guilt) or be discouraged from baking, and I believed. It was a kindness.  One of many that you just don’t see until later in life.  Sometimes much later.  Maybe not until they are gone. Did they really like onions that much? Or did they just say that?  I would assume that occasionally we would run out of food serving 9 or ten at every meal.  I would have eaten an onion if it meant that I didn’t have to have another GD fish stick.  Fish Sticks were their own food group. So there’s that.

My friend Julie shared a video of Russell Simmons with me recently. I had no idea that he went in this cool direction with his life.  Is Kimora living this zen life? Are they on the pageant circuit? Who has the scoop?  I know the answers now.  You do not need to answer any of those questions.

 The first few minutes of the nine minute video were very sobering as he mentioned the many souls who lost their lives in the pandemic. He spoke about the people he knew personally, he mentioned them by name. There were quite a few. He then said something that hit me like a lightning rod.

All of the food you eat is either medicine or poison. My eyes went all Bugs Bunny shocked look. Boiiiinggg.

Historically I have picked the poison. In many areas of my life.  Then complications began to pick me.

Some people mentioned in the Simmons video might have died from complications due to underlying conditions.  

One of the things I  learned in 2020 was a crystal clear definition of of the words “underlying conditions” . Everyone knows someone that has diabetes, heart disease, or autoimmune deficiencies.  I’m going to say that 60% of these disorders are preventable. A conservative estimate I’m sure.  Then probably 80% (if not more) of those cases could be prevented, managed or even cured with diet. If you are one of the people that has an underlying condition that can’t be prevented please don’t @me.  I am not picking on you, I wish everyone well.

This really got me thinking about nutrition.  While I was making notes on the topic I heard the ding of serendipity in the form of a text notification. It was my friend Nance (pronounced Nancy) whom I recently reconnected with after a scant 40 years.  She is going live to talk about “kicking the sugar habit” on Facebook.  I tuned in and holy crap, at 30 minutes in, my brain clicked and I clearly heard, “pay attention”.  An A-HA moment.

A little backstory, in the course of my lifetime I have tried Nutrisystem, Slimfast (remember Tommy Lasorda), Optifast, Medifast, Jenny Craig, RICHARD SIMMONS BRO, fen-phen,  Weight Watchers, cocaine and gastric bypass and more! Never has one person explained the insulin making, fat producing, sugar craving process like Nance.

Like to the extent that I’m following directions.  Aware. Feeling better.  Feeling educated and able to understand and manage something that has eluded me for my entire life.  It’s never too late to make good choices! Weight watchers just teaches people how to beat the system.

Mary has 7 points and is at a bbq.

Wine=3 points

Cake=2 points

A little more wine and a little more cake=2 points. OR

Bunless burger with lettuce and tomato, green salad with tomatoes and diet dressing made from tomatoes and kale. Also 7 points.

I’m going with the wine and cake.  I am still within my points. I have learned nothing about health, wellness or nutrition. Zilch. Go see a health coach. Like Nance.  Understand the value.  Take the time and invest in some real knowledge about your body.  Join an accountability group.  (I can recommend a couple) Be patient with yourself. Let the process happen. 

You can control insulin spikes by managing your diet which controls your cravings and is directly correlated to fat absorption not storage.  Mindfulness is the new black. 

Now someone please come get these Girl Scout cookies! Just leave me a couple of each. I am still learning y’all.  

If you can control your diet, you can rule the world.  Don’t believe me?  Try it! I dare you.

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Mary C. Smith

When Mary isn’t helping people level up, she can be found telling jokes in the local comedy scene about her 13 siblings, the elusive male race, single life, Miami life and owning a business.