The Miami Dolphins are undefeated! And we’re not talking about the 1972 team. 2-0 with a game coming up against the winless Oakland Raiders makes you want to show some Miami Dolphin pride by buying a team jersey. Only thing is the Dolphins in the off-season released or traded the only players anyone had heard of for a bag of potato chips. With no other name recognition on a team the automatic tendency is to purchase the jersey of the quarterback. In the Dolphins’ case that would be Ryan Tannehill.
Miami Has the Dolphins, the Greatest Football Team!
But watch out! It’s not just a Colin Kaepernick jersey that makes a political statement. Any name you wear on your back comes loaded with innuendos on your character. Here’s what you’re telling the world by wearing an official Ryan Tannehill #17 Miami Dolphins jersey.
- When you’ve got ten yards to go, you’re the kind of person who will throw it three yards and hope for the best.
- You find job security sexy.
- You’re the laid back type. Why go for 16 wins in one season, when you can stretch it out and go 8-8 over consecutive seasons?
- Mediocrity is your end zone.
- You’ll thumb your nose at authority, going so far as doing whatever it takes to get multiple coaches and general managers fired.
- Your Jay Cutler jersey is at the dry cleaners.
- You would never support a bum who kneels during the national anthem, but you’re all for supporting an athlete whose wife drives around town with semi-automatic weapons.
- You are Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross and Ryan Tannehill has some serious blackmail-able dirt on you, because what other rationale could there possibly be that Ryan Tannehill has been the Miami Dolphins starting quarterback for seven (SEVEN!?!?!) straight years?
This article was filed by David Rolland, author of The End of the Century.