Wynwood Rant

I don’t know bro, highkey — Wynwood is like Kendall’s backyard fucked Lincoln Road and produced a mutant called Swarm, Incorporated. B-z-z-z-z-z-z- the buzz, like, fuck yeahhhh, baeeee —

Hard to give the hood the benefit of any doubt (culturally) if you remember what it was…and it’s mind boggling to think that if you are “new” to Miami you think Wynwood constitutes the cool part of town. It isn’t. And to promote and market the area as a creative hub? 


Yet there are still some spots, gems, patches, moments, but it’s basically a club district now? uhhntz, uhhntz, uhhntz the Energizer Bunny, a Care Bear, a Fraggle on cocaine, uhhntz, uhhntz, uhhntz Japanese Manga, dancing ninjas w/ Bird Flu and Zika. And color. Color everywhere! Add in the Panama Papers and the ghost condos and throw in the Sons Of Narcos and some {{{BASS}}}–

Coño tacos.

Yeah this is a weird transition period for Wynwood and it’s a conversation worth having, both seriously and satirically, albeit alien and indeed moot.



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J.J. Colagrande

Has written about Miami culture for almost twenty years, first with The Miami Herald, then Miami New Times and Huffington Post. He's the publisher of The Jitney and a full-time professor.