“Jule?”
“Hi Dad”
“I have some bad news, darling. We can talk more when you come home for the holiday break. You’re coming home, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Dad. I got my ticket. What happened?”
”I have some medical issues I need to take care of. When you come home for Winter break we will talk more. I’d like you to consider coming back to Miami for your studies while I get help.”
“Help for what?” Juliet was now terrified.
“I’ll explain when you get home. It’s manageable. But I need you to come home.”
Juliet transferred to University of Miami half-way through her Junior year in college under duress. She tried to look at the positives: she could access a wider selection of courses in her major, American Studies and be closer to some of her old friends. Although devastated by the news of her father’s diagnosis, she knew he had a very good chance of beating it if he followed the treatments as recommended. Juliet made the choice to move back to Coconut Grove with trepidation. She had been living on campus at a SUNY College in the Hudson Valley in NY for two years and had started to enjoy college life.
The curriculum at her new school in Coral Gables was rigorous, stacked with 300 level classes. Constitutional Law, American Literature, American Art. Sociology and government were the most riveting for her. She was struggling with the new environment and thought about seeking help from a counselor for her ADD diagnosis. She was almost denied a scholarship due to a low grade from her previous college. On the first day of registration, she visited student services and took the first available appointment with a counselor.
Having grown up in a home where politics were discussed regularly, her father Larry read a few newspapers daily, watched the news screaming at the television; she was aware of the importance of staying abreast of current events. She just didn’t fully understand everything that was happening. She was hoping to get clarity and be able to participate in discussions. The government and society class focused on a book by Max Weber called “Economy and Society” and a book called “The origins of Totalitarianism” by Hannah Arendt. Juliet was intimidated at first when she went to the bookstore and saw the books were huge.
“What class are you reading those for?” A tall dark-haired student caught her attention standing in front of her in line.
“Society and government. with Shipman.” She said rolling her eyes.
“I’m taking a class with him too,” he said. “He’s a legend. I’m looking forward to it.”
“I don’t know anything about him. I just liked the class description,” she responded.
“Have you ever read “We the Living” by Ann Rand?” she asked him.
“Oh, I hate her. She’s a sellout, “ he said.
“But her first novel was so incredibly romantic. I loved it! I haven’t read her later stuff. It inspired me to take more classes about politics.”
“That’s cool. Well good luck reading those. “ I’m Jack.”
“Juliet,” she said.
“See you around.”
Juliet read an excerpt on the cover of Weber’s book as she waited in line. Later that night at home in Coconut Grove she began to get the flow of the writing and the gist of the books. Juliet became more and more intrigued and convinced that totalitarianism could happen anywhere.
On the second day of class Professor Victor Shipman dove into the discussion by asking, “Does anyone have a better understanding of what happened in Germany to cause the holocaust after reading the assignments?”
Juliet raised her hand. “I’m beginning to understand now. I never did before…”
Another female student spoke immediately, interrupting Juliet without raising her hand and said, “I read this and I still don’t understand. It’s unfathomable. Jewish people didn’t deserve to be killed. What is there to understand?” She stared at Juliet. Juliet turned red. Her heart started racing, feeling embarrassed and misunderstood.
“I think the Germans were brainwashed.” She said quietly, attempting to finish her thoughts.
A third student spoke up, “I think saying they were brainwashed is an oversimplification.”
A fourth person raised her hand and said “I’m Jewish and I don’t fully understand but I think Germany was sick and ripe for something like this to happen. They were so demoralized, they needed a scapegoat.”
Juliet sometimes felt intimidated by some of the other students, but it didn’t stop her from raising her hand and speaking because she desperately wanted to be heard and learn. Like her father, her emotions ran high on political topics, and she often couldn’t contain her thoughts. The professor liked to take a break to tell jokes which the men in the room loved but some of the women disdained.
“It’s time for a break.” The professor said. “Talk amongst yourselves if you wish.”
He went back to his desk looking for something and drank out of a metal tumbler. A pack of Camel cigarettes, a lighter and an ashtray sat on the edge of his desk. After a long silence Professor Shipman eased into one of his notorious crude jokes.
The men in the class chuckled and said “One more!”
After the giggles and the eye rolls, Professor Shipman twirled his short hair with his finger and leaned on one leg as he gently brought the conversation back. ‘If any of you read about the author Max Weber, you would know he died years before Hitler, Mussolini or Stalin took power. Was he warning people?” Professor Shipman asked.
“Depends on who is reading,” a young man said.
“I think it can be seen as a warning.” Juliet said.
“What other Countries have been influenced by charismatic authority?” Professor Shipman asked.
“Cuba” a young man finally spoke. “My parents were forced to leave when I was a child. They would have been imprisoned or worse if they had not escaped to Miami.”
“Yes. That’s a strong example,” the professor continued.
“Hannah Arendt wrote after World War 2 after escaping the holocaust. Having read the assignment, do you think she was influenced by Weber?” Shipman continued.
“Yes, but she doesn’t t talk about it,” a student remarked.
“Where do their writings intersect?” Shipman asked.
Juliet raised her hand. “They both wanted people in a democracy to have discernment and understand authority and government to avoid disaster.” Juliet said.
“Yes. Democracy is not a spectator sport. It takes participation and engagement,” Professor Shipman said. “We need informed citizens who are willing to speak up in defense of justice.”
After class ended, Juliet became intrigued about Max Weber and wanted to know what his intentions were and what his personal life was like. She sat in the hospital waiting room while her father met with his oncologist and reflected on what she learned. How could Weber have known what was coming? She asked herself. What had he observed? She was convinced he must have been a visionary. Her thoughts seesawed between worrying about her father and reflecting on class assignments. She looked forward to her counseling appointment the following day. She wondered about Jack and if he were single and wondered if she would run into him again. That thought made her smile.
The counselor’s office was in the student services building on campus. The psychologist specialized in learning disabilities. Juliet was greeted by a slender woman with glasses with her hair pulled back. The office was damp, dimly lit and the walls were covered in shelves that were filled with books.
“I’m Dr. Elsie Sebastian. You can call me Elsie. “ She said, holding out her hand. Juliet smiled and shook the doctor’s cool clammy palm. “What brings you here?”
“I was diagnosed with ADD in high school and I’m having trouble concentrating . I’m under a lot of pressure right now. My father’s sick so I just transferred here. The classes seem hard. I was hoping you could help me get through some of my classes. Maybe give me tips on how to keep my stress down?”
The doctor hesitated before answering. “We can certainly work on that. Are you on medication for your diagnosis?”
“No. I was for a little while in high school. I’d rather not take drugs.”
“I’m not a psychiatrist so I do not prescribe medication, but I can refer you to someone if we decide that’s what you need. Just so you know, ADD has been renamed ADHD just this year. There’s been new research about the benefits of mindfulness which can be achieved partly with breathing and meditation and cognitive therapy. What are you experiencing?” The doctor asked.
“I’m having trouble focusing. Sometimes I can’t read.”
“Have you tried deep breathing or meditation.”
“Not really. I drink coffee and it helps me focus but then I can’t sleep.”
“I’d like to hear more about your medical history. Let’s set up a longer appointment for next week and we can get to know each other. I think I can help you.”
“That sounds good. Thank you.” Juliet was relieved.
Juliet felt hopeful and looked forward to seeing Elsie again. A few days later, after reading Weber’s life story, his influence on modern thought and his time spent institutionalized due to poor mental health, Juliet became convinced Weber was highly sensitive and felt the weight of the world on his shoulders much like herself.
She went home to have dinner with her father after her fourth week of the semester. “What are you learning?” Larry asked as soon as they sat down to eat.
“Basically, that democracy is fragile and you have to fight to keep it running well. If you don’t speak up for others who are mistreated, you may be next.”
“That sounds important.” Larry said, smiling.
“Listen, Jule. I don’t want you to worry too much about me. I’m stage one. As long as I can get through these treatments, I should be fine. I love having you here and we are saving money on room and board by living at home. Your scholarship is helping a great deal. I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you” Juliet said blushing.
“I have an appointment at Baptist every Wednesday morning. Can you go with me? The doctors said it’s best I don’t drive myself home.”
“Of course, Dad. I’ll give you my schedule, so you know when I’m available.”
“Well, I want you to have some fun too. If you can leave Wednesday mornings open, we should be fine.”
“That’s fine, Dad. You didn’t touch your food. Are you ok?”
“I hesitated asking you to come home to help but now I’m glad I did.” Larry said.
“I’m glad to be home too.” Juliet said unconvincingly, looking down at her food. She didn’t have much appetite either.
“ Dad, I’m seeing a therapist through school to help me with my ADHD. I think it might help.”
“Why is that honey?” Larry said.
“Remember, I was diagnosed with ADD in high school because I talked so much? They call it ADHD now. “
“Oh. Ok. But that’s natural when you’re smart like you. You’ve always been curious.”
“How long are you in chemo, Dad?” Juliet was staring at her father.
“It will be about 3 months. 12 rounds. Once a week. By the time Summer rolls around I’ll be done. Maybe we can take a nice long trip to the Keys once I’m finished.”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay, Dad. I miss NY. I had made some new friends up there.”
“You are all I have Jule. I need you to stay at least until I recover.”
“Let’s see how the next few months go. I’m really just getting settled in. I’m going to lie down. Let me take your plate.”
Juliet kissed her father’s forehead, did the dishes, and went to her room feeling the weight of her father’s comment. Class assignments swirled around in her head, but she was too tired to work. Her thought drifted back to what she had been reading.
What disturbed her most about Professor Shipman’s class was not only that totalitarianism had happened in the past, but that could happen again, quietly, gradually and with the participation of ordinary people who believed they were doing the right thing. She realized that Weber hadn’t been predicting specific leaders or regimes. He had been describing human weakness: the desire for certainty, the comfort of obedience, the dangerous appeal of charismatic authority in times of desperation. Perhaps his writing wasn’t a prophecy so much as a reflection of human foibles.
Juliet understood that learning wasn’t just about knowledge. It was also about responsibility. Democracy had to be taken care of and nurtured just like her father. She wondered how many people would pay attention to warnings. Juliet awakened to the reality that democracy was the freedom to love who you choose to love, the freedom to have different opinions and not be persecuted for them. Democracy meant religious and intellectual freedom. All things her father had taught her to value and that she had taken for granted. Freedoms that could be lost. The semester helped to shape her thinking. She gained purpose and direction as she became a caregiver for her father, her democracy and herself.
